Monday, January 14, 2008

Don't cry for me, Terrell Owens

In the past, Terrell Owens has blasted his quarterbacks, questioning the sexuality of San Francisco 49ers teammate Jeff Garcia (not the brightest thing to do in a city with such a liberal view on homosexuality like Frisco) and talking of how Philadelphia Eagles qb Donovan McNabb got sick in the huddle during the Super Bowl (maybe it was just a bad can of Campbell's Chunky Soup). But after Sunday's 21-17 loss to the New York Giants, T.O. was surprisingly supportive of Tony Romo. Dallas, who had homefield advantage throughout the playoffs and finished the season at 13-3, now faces an early off-season vacation.

Because pictures of Owens' crying hidden behind his sunglasses and his support for Romo, I've wondered what T.R. thinks. Perhaps a song is in order:

Don’t Cry For Me, Terrell Owens
(parody of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina)
Lyrics by Richard Zowie

Your tears were moving
Even hidden behind your Secret Service sunglasses
I didn’t know you cared for me that much
If I had known, I’d have thrown you more passes
It was a tough loss, I think you’ll agree
I’ll try to tell you how I feel
I know you like me more than you did Jeff Garcia
Or even Donovan McNabb
But I need you to know I’m doing ok
Jessica’s by my side, I have a big contract
And next season will be better

Don't cry for me Terrell Owens
The truth is I never quit liking you
No matter how much popcorn you spill
Or what crazy things you say and do
Don’t cry for me, Terrell Owens

We have next season to make it right
As long as we draft and sign the right guys
Sure, we wasted a 13-3 record, but that’s fine
But, please, send this message for me:
Michael Strahan, you can’t have Jessica

Don’t cry for me Terrell Owens

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